(singing in Portuguese)
- Where are you going? - I'd like to go to the bathroom.
- Are you coming back? - Mm-hm. Yeah. Yeah.
Hurry back, lover.
What a les.
- I thought you'd gone. - I have five minutes.
Can you move your car? The guys with the tank are here.
What tank?
It's OK. She's gonna move it.
- You gonna move it? - Is that a birthing tank?
- Since when are we having the baby in water? - Since I decided to.
- I didn't wanna bother you with it. - It's six months away.
I got a good deal on it.
- What is Dr Wilson saying? - She thinks it's great.
- You talked to her but not to me? - Baby, please, move your car.
(rap music from car)
Yo! What's up?
- Hi, Slim Daddy. - Hey. How you doin'?
Pretty good. Thank you for giving me a ride to the studio.
Why wouldn't I wanna ride with a beautiful woman?
Miss Porter, d'you want a smoothie?
Yeah. What's in 'em?
- Fruit. - Tell her what kind.
We got strawberry, orange, some berry type thing and peanut butter.
- You know, just in case. - I will take the strawberry.
- You like that? - Yeah, it's good.
But I think I'd like it better if I could drink it myself.
You're drinking the peanut butter.
(purring)
Mr Piddles...
There's something important I have to tell you.
Do you remember Lara?
Remember how...
..how she used to come over all the time and...
..stay over sometimes and...
..we'd move around a lot and... together?
Mr Piddles, Lara's gay.
- (purring stops) - So am I.
Do you still love me?
(purring restarts)
- You're the best cat in the world, Mr P... - (knocking)
Shh.
(door creaks)
- What are you doing here? - (sighs)
I have come to get you out of bed.
Come on. Let's go. I've had enough of this. Come on.
- (cat meows) - Oh, shoot. Sorry, Mr Piddles.
- OK. Come on. - I don't wanna get up.
Some of us have it worse. Some of us are dating lesbian men. Come on.
Look at her face.
She's searching for a feeling.
It's like she's longing for faith.
She'd do anything to get it.
To feel it.
I love this work.
Yeah, it's really cool.
- Can I help you? - Uh, Bette Porter?
- I'm Bette Porter. - These are for you.
There's no card. Who are these from?
- It doesn't say. - Tina?
No. Tina's into practical-gift giving.
- Is that supposed to be art? - It's not supposed to be. It is.
Then I guess Hustler and Penthouse have been putting out some pretty good art too.
- Can you make sure he leaves the building? - Yeah.
What is gonna cheer you up?
Hello? Hello, yeah.
I was wondering if your refrigerator was running.
Oh, it is?
Go. They said yeah. Come on, do it.
Well, you'd better catch it.
Mom?
- You have got to talk to this woman. - Why?
- If she's coming around... - (rings)
- It's her. Let's go. Come on. - No.
Hello? Yes. OK. No, it wasn't funny.
Yeah, she is.
She wants to talk.
Hello.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
But, Mom, I'm not!
OK.
Fine, fine. Fine, OK.
Bye.
- Well? - I came out to a piece of wood.
- She didn't even mention it. - That's good. She's accepting it through denial.
She's setting me up on a blind date with Mildred's son.
At least it's not shock therapy.
What?
What are you doing? Hello.
- I'm getting coffee. - You're not.
Cherie Jaffe is your six o'clock and she's not gonna wait for you.
Be nice.
- Hi. - Hi.
I'm looking for a Shane McCutcheon.
I'm Shane.
These are Mrs Jaffe's records. Treatments undergone in the last five years.
A list of preferred products to be used and ones you must under no circumstance use.
If you've read and understand the information, sign right here.
No problem.
- Thank you. - All right.
- That's Shane. - Sorry. What?
- That's Shane. - Great.
- Hi. - Hello.
And five, six, seven, eight.
Turn, one, two, three, four and five, six, seven and eight.
One, two, three, four. And ahead.
Five, six, seven, eight. Let's try it one more time. Get back to formation.
And one, two, three, four and five, six and seven.
Five, six, seven. Again. One, two, three, four...
- You a fan or are you just watching? - Hello.
I'm waiting for my sister, Kit Porter.
- Kit's sister? - Her half-sister.
- The beautiful half, I'm supposin'. - More like the gay half.
- Is that so? - Mm-hm.
Mm. That's sexy. Very sexy.
What's the matter with y'all? We torturing y'all or something?
I got a gang of people that'd love to be in this position. I need to fix your faces up.
- You havin' fun yet, baby? - Yeah, if that's what you wanna call it.
This motherfucker's gonna kill me. I can't dance unless I drink.
Yeah, that's what I like to see. Just like that.
Me and your sister, we had a little talk.
- Did she tell you she was into women? - Yeah. That's one thing we have in common.
- Where are your girlfriends at now? - We don't travel in packs.
It'd be nice if they'd come by, bring some excitement to this video.
- For me or you? - We could share.
Yo, Slim, let me tell you what I got.
- He certainly lives up to his reputation. - Which one?
- He's such a flirt. - He's a player.
- He plays with everybody. - I didn't think it was because I was special.
You are special. You're my sister.
Also, will you call Gwynnie and get three tickets to Coldplay for Clea?
Don't tell her. I wanna see if she keeps this job. I'm not about to reward her if she quits.
I think that's it.
Why don't you go over to Neiman's and pick up my Manolos?
- Neiman's? - Yes.
OK.
- Bye. - Bye.
- Tell me what you want. - I want so many things.
But in terms of what you can do for me, I want a change.
I want something new.
Excellent. OK.
Yeah. I know what to do.
Take this off.
There are some smocks in the back.
- D'you like it? - Yes.
It's Prosecco. In northern Italy they serve it on tap.
Thanks.
It's lovely, isn't it?
Mm-hm.
I like to start with something bubbly.
But champagne can be too full of expectation.
I like to keep things simple.
- So how did you meet Harry? - Through a friend.
I have to say, when he told me I should come see you,
I thought he was full of shit. As usual.
But then Ellie Zimmer walked into the LACMA benefit and I almost didn't recognise her.
That woman has not looked good in 12 years. There she was, looking stunning.
You did an amazing job.
Thank you.
So how did you get Harry to fall in love with you?
Well, I didn't sleep with him.
- The Gift of the Magi is a perfect story. - Talk about economy of language.
If it's a success, it'll travel to New York and LA. There were extraordinary people involved.
Are you referring to yourself?
- And a few others. - Such as the prima ballerina.
She was pretty terrific.
Francesca was a big fan of the prima ballerina.
I had sex with her. Marina's pretending to be jealous.
It's just the way it happened. This woman is getting a costume fitting,
and Francesca proceeded to seduce her.
Which I think is a bit unethical.
You do?
- Do you find that hard to believe? - Yeah.
Ethical isn't the first word that comes to mind when I think of Marina.
You sound angry.
No.
Well, she's beautiful, and that compensates for a multitude of sins, doesn't it?
Come on! It's a compliment to be the topic of conversation. Isn't that right, Jenny?
Yes.
Harry, you asshole. Thank you for begging me to go to Shane.
- Say hello. - Hello, Harry.
No. It's amazing. She's a genius.
For giving me a great haircut and for not sleeping with you.
So call me when you get out of your K-hole, OK?
- Thank you, Mrs Jaffe. - Give that to Shane.
- I love my hair. - Gorgeous.
After you. See you again.
- Shane. - What?
- Mrs Jaffe left this for you. - Cool.
200 bucks. Nice work. Don't forget to sweep up.
(tuts)
Don't do that.
I want you to know how difficult it's been to get you out of my mind.
- Why are you saying that? - You act like you're the only one with feelings.
- That's because you act so cold. - Why did you accept this invitation?
To see why someone would work so hard to make someone fall in love with them.
Work so hard? That's a great assessment on who I am.
- Tell me who you are. - You keep asking me that.
Obviously you're not paying attention.
You know what's so sad? It's that you don't know how much you mean to me.
- I thought it was quiet down here. - Sorry.
It's OK.
Is it?
When Marina focuses on you, you feel like you're the only one that exists.
It's her gift.
I don't blame you for falling in love with her.
But maybe you use your gift a little too freely.
- What's this? - That's the wine Jenny brought.
Guess I'll open this, then.
Jenny, tell me about the story you've been writing.
The one about the demons. Marina says it's really quite good. Is it finished?
So this is what the two of you do.
You make these little conquests and then you go home and you compare notes.
You make each other jealous in order to find the other desirable.
I wouldn't be so self-righteous. You're not exactly an innocent bystander.
Classy.
I'm sorry the evening turned out like this,
but there's something you have to understand.
When I go away, Marina can do whatever she wants, as can I.
But when I come back, I want my home the way I've left it.
I hope that isn't too much to ask.
Thank you.
(door opens)
Hi.
- Jen. - Mm-hm?
D'you feel like watching a really bad kung-fu movie?
Yeah.
It's pretty stupid. Kinda what I'm in the mood for, though.
No, stupid is good.
Come here.
Come on.
I love you so much.
(grunts and groans on TV)
Are you mad that I made a decision?
No.
I just... I just feel a little left out.
I... get this feeling from you
that you're so proud to be with me,
and it makes me feel really safe and loved.
It's great.
But lately I haven't been feeling it.
So I've just been... trying to concentrate on myself...
..and... I've been trying not to get scared about it.
Hi. Morning.
Morning.
I love being here with you.
Can I tell you something?
It's over. Between Marina and me.
I went over to her and her girlfriend's last night.
I have never met anybody like that in my life.
It's all about their egos. They don't care who they hurt.
They just draw you into this web for some kind of a sport.
I'm not gonna see her ever again.
I threw a bottle of wine at their house.
- What are you doing? - I took a giant fucking step backwards.
I don't wanna be back together with you, Jenny.
I don't know who you are.
You start talking about Marina and her girlfriend
and how phoney and manipulative they are,
and all I can think is that's you, that's who you've become.
It's like you've done this thing and you can't wash it off.
It's in you.
I don't want it in me.
(door closes)
Fuck you, Tim.
I am not apologising any more.
(phone rings)
- Gonna answer that? - No.
- It's Lisa. - Let me see it.
- Guys, I need IDs. - Right.
Hello? No, she stepped away from her phone for just a minute.
OK. All right. Hold on a second.
OK, here. He says he can hear you breathing.
- IDs. - Yes.
- Here you go. - We're here to see Kit Porter.
I don't know. Let me ask.
Do you feel like subconsciously we forgot to invite Lisa 'cause he's a bit different?
- Yes. - Give me the phone.
Hey, Lise. Hi. Look, it completely slipped our minds.
Look, you have to stop being such a lesbian.
No, it's not cute, and you are gonna chase the girls away.
- I'm not showing anything. - She should've left our names.
- Yo, is there a problem? - Sorry. I can't let these women in.
Sure you can. They with us. These are Slim Daddy's people.
- All of 'em? - Yeah.
This one's his business manager. That one's his accountant.
Blondie in the back, that's his PR lady. And this one here, she's his white lady.
And this one over here...
..she's a friend, came along for the ride.
- You cool with that? - Yeah, I'll set 'em up with some passes.
- Thanks. Appreciate it. - Thanks.
Thank you.
Slim Daddy'd like to discuss some business plans with you if you got a minute.
Surely he would want his accountant there too.
- I don't know about that. - As his business manager, I'd have to insist.
(rap music)
Yo, Slim. I got a little something hooked up for you.
- Hey. - Hey.
- What's up?
- Who is this? - This is my partner, Tina.
- Hello. - What's up, Tina? How you doin'?
- I'm good. - You got a business relationship?
Oh, we're life partners.
Y'all married?
I see. So you got yourself a little commitment, huh?
You think your sister'd be interested? Or is she with a chick?
- No, Kit is not gay. - You said she was.
I said I was.
She gonna kill me when she finds out the direction I took with this video.
(mellow dance music)
- Shit. I feel like I did this. - No, look, she's having fun.
She's being mounted.
Let's cut. Cut it. Everyone back to first positions, please.
Playback.
Action.
I wanna do that dance.
- You do not wanna do that dance. - This is hard. You see this?
It requires a sense of rhythm you don't possess.
At all.
- You two married too? - Us? We're just freewheelin'.
- Who's this? - I'm Shane.
I'm sorry. Have a seat.
It's like some weird carnival here or something.
Let's cut. Cut it.
I can't do this. I can't do this.
I love the song and I really wanna be in the video,
but I just can't be in it like this.
When I stopped drinking, I promised myself I would never make a fool of myself again.
Look, it's my bad. I put the ladies in the video 'cause I thought this was your thing.
You did that for me? That was sweet.
It's not about the girls. It's just that I ain't 20 and I ain't nobody's hoochie.
Why am I putting myself through all this?
If they don't like me and my song, this is not gonna convince 'em.
Sorry to interrupt, but I have to keep shooting. Are you in or not?
If it wasn't for Kit, wouldn't none of us be here.
Wouldn't be no song, no video to shoot.
What you meant to say was you better figure out how to get this right, right?
There's someone here to see you.
- Hi. - Hello.
Cherie's hosting a benefit this evening and she'd like you to do her hair.
- Tonight? - At five. Can I let her know you'll be there?
- Yeah. - Excellent choice. Here's the directions.
Thanks.
Be on time. Mrs Jaffe gets grumpy when she's made to wait.
Bette.
Coffee. So, as far as I've figured out,
the people responsible are the Coalition for Concerned Citizens.
They've all but stood up and said that they did it.
They've been tracking the show since New York,
but they're all ready to get serious here in LA because, as they see it,
LA is the capital of filth and degradation.
- They sent these? - Yeah.
- When did they arrive? - Couple of days ago. I thought it was junk mail.
OK. Get me as much information as you can.
Just find out who runs the thing and who funds them, OK?
Runs and funds. Yeah.
(doorbell rings)
- Hello, miss. - Hi.
- I parked there. Is that OK? - Yes.
The missus, she wait for you upstairs.
OK.
- Hello. - Hi.
OK, so, should I... Shall I do what I did last time?
I was hoping for a little more.
Well, what kind of more?
- Lots more. - Oh.
I see.
It's good for you. You're constantly complaining about feeling sluggish.
- Not constantly. - Pretty close.
And lately I feel like you bring that fatigue into the bedroom.
I make love to you and then you're too tired.
I don't wanna make you but I don't have an orgasm. It's frustrating.
You're pumping me full of spirulina so you can come?
No. I'm just saying you don't eat that well.
If you just cut out the red meat, it might help.
I'll be back in a minute.
- Hi. I'm Dana Fairbanks. - Andrew. Sit down.
Andrew. Thanks.
- So... - So...
- I talked to your mom on the phone. - Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- She said you're a tennis player. - Oh, yeah. Yeah.
It's fun, you know. It's fun. It's hard work, though.
Well, it shows. You have a really beautiful body.
- Yeah. OK. - I don't understand why you need to be set up.
- When I saw your picture... - Was it a Subaru ad?
- A Subaru ad? - The slogan was "Get out and stay out."
- Like an outdoorsy kind of... - Gay thing?
Yeah. Look...
That's me. I'm... I'm a lesbian.
I won't have sex with you and another woman.
I just wanna have sex with a woman. I'm that gay.
I'm sorry you had to come all the way out here and do this.
It's OK.
Great.
That's great. Well, gosh. All right, then.
- Great meeting you. - Good to meet you.
Take care.
- Way to go. - Score.
Hi.
- Alice. Nice to meet you. - Andrew.
You handled that really well.
- Hey. - How'd it go?
I feel great.
It happened so fast, I couldn't think of anything else.
So, Andrew, you're straight?
- Yes. - Completely? No shades of grey or anything?
- Uh, none. - Wow. Fascinating.
So you have no sexual ambiguity, no variation on your orientation?
Is she flirting with him?
You're not hiding a vagina in there?
One testicle?
Yeah. I just told my first straight guy that I was gay and not even to bother trying.
Good for you. Congratulations.
You're fucking amazing.
I can't wait to tell Harry. He's gonna be so jealous.
- (man) Cherie. - Oh, my God!
- Cherie! - Oh, fuck!
Shit!
- Do you have everything? - Yeah.
- Hello? - You always interrupt when I'm not ready.
- I thought you'd be dressed by now. - I'm just getting my hair done.
- Looks good. - It's the just-fucked look.
Yeah? Well, it works for me.
- Hi. - Ah, you must be Shane.
- My hands are wet. - That's OK.
- You look great. - It's good to put a face to the name.
- Harry won't stop talking about you. - She's the best.
Yeah. OK.
Let me see. Excellent.
- You look lovely. Nice to meet you. - See you.
- So, if I need a touch-up I'll call you? - Yeah, yeah.
Yo. Hey, whoa. Hold on a second there.
- Cherie said she forgot to pay you. - No.
It's your money. You have talent. You made my wife look hot.
I thought I was gonna bang her right there.
Know how many married men think that about their own wives?
None. You could be a gold mine, you know that?
- Thank you. - Got my eye on you.
- Oh, good, you got them. - I had to go to three different book stores.
- Monkeys Go On Strike. - Monkeys Go On Strike is my favourite.
Second only to Aardvark Makes Pasta.
- That's great. - My dad read these to me when I was little.
Are you always reading to Tina's stomach?
It's reading to the baby, James.
Shit. I'm late for a doctor's appointment with Tina.
Can you finish gathering the information and have it ready in the morning?
Got everything you need? Good luck.
Ten bucks says Tina laughs at Monkeys Go On Strike.
Bye. See you tomorrow.
- Excuse me. Do you work at the museum? - Yes.
- Great. Has Isabella Pernao's work arrived? - I'm not at liberty to say.
But you're expecting it? The work blaspheming Jesus Christ?
The piece references a Jesus figure in a symbolic way.
How is Miss Pernao's work relevant to anyone, Miss Porter,
except to degrade and offend anyone of the Christian faith?
We have to have other perspectives. Not everyone is of the Christian faith.
Art is a mirror of the world we live in.
- The world that we live in is a godless one? - That's not what I said.
Miss Porter, do you have children?
- A simple question. - My partner and I are expecting a baby.
Shame on you, Miss Porter. Shame.
You are making this world a darker place for your child to live in. Miss Porter!
Do you think that the fact that you're homosexual makes you morally bankrupt?
By your definition I'm a pervert,
since you're trying to say only a pervert could show this work.
Thank you for your frankness.
And I hope you liked the flowers. They're just my way of saying nothing personal.
Fae Buckley.
Bingo.
I didn't say that. I said I'd made some interesting choices.
Sounds like you made some pretty bad ones.
What was that mandate? Simple boy-on-girl sex with no complicated stuff?
- (knocking) - (Lisa) Alice.
Fuck. OK. All right, I might have to ask you to leave.
Shit.
(clears throat)
Hi.
- How can you do this? - Lisa...
Dude, your name's Lisa? Harsh.
- It's my taken name. - We weren't doing anything.
He represents everything that is wrong, and you wanna have sex with him.
- Take it easy. - I don't have to! I'm her lesbian lover!
Whoa. Just got not worth it.
- I'll call you. - Sure.
- You got your work cut out. - Dyke drama. You know how it is.
No.
Lisa, when I started seeing you, I wanted something simple and easy.
Instead I end up with the most complicated interpretation of sexual identity ever.
You do lesbian better than any lesbian I know.
I don't want a lesbian boyfriend. I'm sorry.
I want a boyfriend who's straight or a lesbian who's a girl.
Hello. I'm sorry I'm so late. You would not believe what happened to me if I told you.
Is Tina not here yet or am I later than I thought?
Please...
..have a seat.
- Where's Tina? - Bette, I'm afraid I have some bad news.
During our examination I was unable to locate a heartbeat.
The foetus has stopped thriving.
This is usually due to some congenital problem.
It's the body's own way of ending a pregnancy.
It's really very common in first-time pregnancies,
more so than is even talked about.
(sobbing)
(car approaches)
(car doors slam shut)
(banging, dog barks)
Stay here, OK? I'll be right back.
(banging and barking continues)
What do you think you're doing?
- Telling people the truth. - You shut that off. You have no right.
That stuff you're showing, it's pornography, it's filth...
- This is my home, my family! - You have no right to corrupt children!
Tell Fae Buckley if she ever, ever tries something like this again, she will regret it!
You're going to hell!
(Nick Cave singing "Into My Arms")
♪ I don't believe in an interventionist God
♪ But I know, darling, that you do
♪ But if I did I would kneel down and ask Him
♪ Not to intervene when it came to you
♪ Not to touch a hair on your head To leave you as you are
♪ If He felt He had to direct you Then direct you into my arms
♪ Into my arms
♪ O Lord
♪ Into my arms
♪ O Lord
♪ Into my arms
♪ O Lord
♪ Into my arms
♪ And I don't believe in the existence of angels
♪ But looking at you I wonder if that's true
♪ And if I did I would summon them together ♪